So mum and dad are still not talking to each other. The day after is New Year and for the first time in 11 years we'll have guest over. And for the first time in 3 years I'm back for New Year. And for the next 5 years I probably won't be back for it. All of these don't stop mum from refusing to reconciliate over a quarrel that started on Sunday. Their record is 2 weeks of silence before it was broken on mum's terms - that dad writes an account of his actions leading up to the quarrel, explaining how he had been in the wrong. xie3 jian3 tao3 - it's the kind of stuff that's in fashion for CCP in the 2nd half of last century. If you are ready for moral catharsis to attain spiritual purity I dare say you can go for it. Utter humility, awe for a greater truth/power, whatever. But in general it's kinda hard on the dignity especially when you aren't in the wrong. Dad isn't. That's my opinion at least. He told mum openly this time that she had been in the wrong, amongst many other things. It was a rare act of rebellion that cost him the present suffrage of dignity. Mum herself on the other hand thoroughly thinks she's the victim.

I say something, mum distorts the meaning (Type M behaviour) and her dissatisfaction of the past gets stirred and she gets angry. Her unreasonable anger inspires anger in dad and they quarrel and bad things are said and mum withdraws with new wounds. So she has more right to be the victim, to comtenplate aloud jumping off 10 floors and to say "I'm fine" in that you3 qi4 wu2 li4 manner, looking straight ahead like a tragic queen, while craving attention. After this phase has passed, her energy is renewed and she fights off dad's efforts at reconciliation. She wants something like an unconditional apology. Not gonna let dad worm his way into favour again. The cause of the quarrel must be brought up and re-examined and the righteous be awareded and the evil be punished. Must not let the class enemy off so lightly. This is called "Life doesn't stop and the (class) war goes on". When ceasefire comes she'd talk as if she had wanted good for the family. "Why don't us just live in harmony? Wouldn't it be great if we speak nicely to each other and avoid quarrels such as this?" (Type S) Mum can't tell who's speaking nicely and who's not. A result of mostly character traits of Types M and N. I guess she thinks she's a prophet or something. Her words must make sense. So if we contradict, she's the victim. If we follow, she's wisdom itself. If we contradict, the woes of the world befall onto her alone. If we follow, she's smug and contented in her world of stadium and radio.

The more I write the more it's not gonna help my frustration. What else should I try? Just go up to her and her stadium hang-out and speak aloud in mandarin, "Will you stop this ridiculousness?" I wonder what'd happen if I spoke that out loud to her in front of strangers. She'd be smiling weakly and breaking out in cold sweat while not being able to take in what I mean at the beginning. After the hurt has sunken in she'll again self-victimise for defense. She'll be staring blankly ahead and looking out at the window. Maybe I'll dare her to jump. Maybe I'll slap her and tell her to shape up or she doesn't eat. Wanna be the victim totally? Well I can let you be one. Not hard to do at all. What a monster.

No no mum-hating doesn't work as well. It's not even like she's mad at me this time. Best solution that can happen = dad writes jian3 tao3 in a clever way and let the matter slip by before the New Year begins.