Strategise!
Identify and categorise mum's actions:
1. Warped logic regarding general things happening at large - Type N
2. Warped logic/deep prejudice regarding things/actions/relationships close/relevant to/done by me - Type M
3. Sublimed emotions regarding injustice done to herself (self-pitying expressions) - Type V
4. Sublimed emotions regarding my wrongdoings (false accusations) - Type W
5. Sublimed emotions turn into "reasonable motivations" when she calms down (secondary meanings) - Type S
6. Sheer repetitiveness (nag) - Type R
Original own response:
1. World view/Principles offended. Defend just for the "rightness" of it.
2. More deeply offended. Need to defend friend/relatives/own actions, etc. Frustration for lack of understanding.
3. Vexation and annoyance.
4. Teeth-gritting frustration. Violence.
5. Feel cheated - if she had meant good then why... Feel fear for not being able to guess secondary meanings.
6. Vexation and annoyance.
Strategised own response:
1. Identify type and not be defensive.
2. Identify type and not be defensive.
3. Say sympathetic remarks as far as possible. Or just listen.
4. Try to clarify in a way as if I'm on her side (This is an art). Or just listen and apologise.
5. Hardest to deal with. However, this type is an aftermath of violent argument. If violent arguments can be prevented by doing 1-4, hopefully we won't come to this. However, try not to take in/believe the rational truths she tells, or not believe in hope that she can have consciousness of self, because it'll confuse me with the other frustrating statements, and diminish my ability to identify the types correctly.
6. Identify type and not be defensive.
Underlying mentality needed (not in corresponding order):
1. Be ready to admit when I'm indeed in the wrong.
2. It's always easier for the younger person to give face to the elder.
3. She's pitiful. Nobody else talks to her. And she's foolish.
4. Real injustice has been done to her.
5. She does care.
6. She has changed somewhat.
Additional actions taken in times of peace:
1. Be obedient.
2. Say pleasing stuff.
3. Buy to bribe.
4. Arrange activities (tough tough tough)
Gosh... what if after I've tried everything... I wouldn't even be proud of myself if this worked. Cold hard hatred? No no no, you've gotta treat every experience as a positive one (bullshit). You'll learn and learning is always cathartic and good (yeah right). After all... you have to get what fun you can savage from crap... you really do...
1. Warped logic regarding general things happening at large - Type N
2. Warped logic/deep prejudice regarding things/actions/relationships close/relevant to/done by me - Type M
3. Sublimed emotions regarding injustice done to herself (self-pitying expressions) - Type V
4. Sublimed emotions regarding my wrongdoings (false accusations) - Type W
5. Sublimed emotions turn into "reasonable motivations" when she calms down (secondary meanings) - Type S
6. Sheer repetitiveness (nag) - Type R
Original own response:
1. World view/Principles offended. Defend just for the "rightness" of it.
2. More deeply offended. Need to defend friend/relatives/own actions, etc. Frustration for lack of understanding.
3. Vexation and annoyance.
4. Teeth-gritting frustration. Violence.
5. Feel cheated - if she had meant good then why... Feel fear for not being able to guess secondary meanings.
6. Vexation and annoyance.
Strategised own response:
1. Identify type and not be defensive.
2. Identify type and not be defensive.
3. Say sympathetic remarks as far as possible. Or just listen.
4. Try to clarify in a way as if I'm on her side (This is an art). Or just listen and apologise.
5. Hardest to deal with. However, this type is an aftermath of violent argument. If violent arguments can be prevented by doing 1-4, hopefully we won't come to this. However, try not to take in/believe the rational truths she tells, or not believe in hope that she can have consciousness of self, because it'll confuse me with the other frustrating statements, and diminish my ability to identify the types correctly.
6. Identify type and not be defensive.
Underlying mentality needed (not in corresponding order):
1. Be ready to admit when I'm indeed in the wrong.
2. It's always easier for the younger person to give face to the elder.
3. She's pitiful. Nobody else talks to her. And she's foolish.
4. Real injustice has been done to her.
5. She does care.
6. She has changed somewhat.
Additional actions taken in times of peace:
1. Be obedient.
2. Say pleasing stuff.
3. Buy to bribe.
4. Arrange activities (tough tough tough)
Gosh... what if after I've tried everything... I wouldn't even be proud of myself if this worked. Cold hard hatred? No no no, you've gotta treat every experience as a positive one (bullshit). You'll learn and learning is always cathartic and good (yeah right). After all... you have to get what fun you can savage from crap... you really do...
posted by Azzurra | 5:04 PM
1 Comments:
Perhaps you should wait a day or two more for your mum to cool down (it's been 2 days right?) before you talk to her. I find that it usually works to say sorry... even if you don't think it's your fault. That's the short term solution of course... no one can keep on saying sorry forever. Good luck! Remember - ming tian hui geng hao =)
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