Funny quotes on employee evaluation

1. This person is not really so much of a has-been, but more definitely a won't-be.

2. To hear him speak, his accomplishments are so big they can only be compared to that of a black hole in space -- unfortunately, neither have been confirmed to exist.

3. Create a new title to make him feel appreciated, e.g., jester, dunce, former employee, etc.

4. Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train just isn't coming.

5. A clock watcher who's in a different time zone than the rest of us.

6. He's so dense, light bends around him.

7. This employee should go far -- and the sooner he starts, the better.

8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.

9. Got into the gene pool when the lifeguard wasn't looking.

10. Is still able to get the job done -- if someone else helps.

Since when did so many people fall into places where they don't really want to be but worked hard to get there anyway?