What's a modern girl to do?
Had horrible dream last night. Zhang1 Zi3 Yi2 was in her geisha attire (not that I've watched the movie) and was mistress to a man. I was at their house visiting. Something happened and the man killed her. I remember her face, pale as chalk, with her throat slit open in a wide "V" like a half-cut PVC tubing in my lab. There was no blood, but there were bulging eyes and tongue that stuck out. After that I ran away from the house.
Erhu instructor got me my exam score sheet on Saturday. So it wasn't just an S/U affair. I actually get a grade. Not only a grade - a score. It's been a long while since I see a handwritten number at the side of something like " /60" in print. Reminds me of JC GP days. I got a merit. Mum gave a slight hint that it'd be nice if I got distinction (90 and above). But was glad in general.
Browsed facebook for awhile and found that Jo posted my Halloween picture taken 2 years ago in one of her albums. Had an urge to send her a message but stopped in time. If she's doing well now I'm glad. This is good enough I hope. Bibo had posted her Halloween picture taken with Bambi as well. The surest way to cure nostalgia is to meet again the same objects of nostalgia under present circumstances. Then the fact that all's different is forced upon you and the past becomes irrelevant. Provided the past is considerably remote from the present. Then again perhaps there is no nostalgia if that's so.
Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection rather than of affection. - from the essay "What's a Modern Girl to Do?" by Maureen Dowd
This essay our retreat mentor sent to us. It's about the backlash of the feminist movements in the 60s. Back then girls over-denied that they are ever weaker than guys; now they don't want to deny anymore but instead went back to the 30s' image of wanting to be "rescued", enticing and cared for. For the retro part, I thought there's a difference: previously women had been objects of gallantry. Now objects of sexual gratification. Or is it not so different? Were men of old more pretentious? Innocent? No matter. Not the focus here.
So it seems that the writer looks down on girls nowadays who want to play hard-to-get, to make themselves more sexually desirable, have their attention on becoming "Mrs", etc, while becoming ignorant of gender politics and the "seismic shifts on the Supreme Court that'll affect women's rights for a generation". She takes pride in herself being Carrie Bradshaw (SJP. Oops I mean Sarah Jessica Parker) from "Sex and the City", intellectual and independent, but still desirable and charming due to wit and intelligence. The best deal you can get midway between hardcore feminism and sex kitten. The best deal, that is, if the focus is still on the image and purpose of the female. Other than that, war is still going on. Guys are still the opponent or the prey. No rest till one party surrenders or conquers. Still a power struggle.
All this is so tiring. I wonder if things fare better if everyone just does things without thinking and without trying to be the smart one. True, there are natural differences between males and females and we don't have to go for the uni-sex extreme. True too, that obssession with own attractiveness is a manifestation of insecurity. Both are equally emotionally taxing. So how about just tell the other what you want and see if he can make the best compromise out of both of your interests? If he can't, how about reminding yourself that you are likely to be equally unable or unwilling to do that? Sounds terribly defeatistic I know. How can life be made up of compromises? But there should be a way. How about from a child's point of view? Perhaps a more reticent and dong3 shi4 child. Ask for what you want. Show genuine devotion. And trust (cautiously). I think that's what the Chinese mean by chi4 zi3 zhi1 xin1.
More importantly, I do think philosophizing on the gender issue and power struggle is less productive than reflecting or helping out on some genuine, more material plights of women (courtesy of RZ). Between American women CEOs who can't find husbands to raise families and Vietnamese women who came to Singapore to marry for financial assistance, I'd pick the later for higher index of sympathy. However, it's a matter of the difference in the availabilities of opportunities for education. Without an education we won't philosophize. Given an education and we start to dwell on the intellectually and spiritually unsatisfactory.
The reason why I showed that quote, apart from that of introducing the essay, is that it's the only sentence that has some reasonable depth of meaning. And even so the term "art" is loaded here. The rest are stringing together of quotes that sound like lines from "The Sex and the City". Full of stereotypes just as the writer is trying to fight the renewed (sexual) stereotypification of women. Witty to some extent. But it's like everybody knows it already and so? Re-stating the problems can be done with depth (otherwise there can't be so many characters of the same type created with impact in literature) but it's hard to do. Oh well, I guess then again it might well be written from an introductory perspective. There'll surely be readers who'll be educated by it.
Erhu instructor got me my exam score sheet on Saturday. So it wasn't just an S/U affair. I actually get a grade. Not only a grade - a score. It's been a long while since I see a handwritten number at the side of something like " /60" in print. Reminds me of JC GP days. I got a merit. Mum gave a slight hint that it'd be nice if I got distinction (90 and above). But was glad in general.
Browsed facebook for awhile and found that Jo posted my Halloween picture taken 2 years ago in one of her albums. Had an urge to send her a message but stopped in time. If she's doing well now I'm glad. This is good enough I hope. Bibo had posted her Halloween picture taken with Bambi as well. The surest way to cure nostalgia is to meet again the same objects of nostalgia under present circumstances. Then the fact that all's different is forced upon you and the past becomes irrelevant. Provided the past is considerably remote from the present. Then again perhaps there is no nostalgia if that's so.
Art is imitating life, turning women who seek equality into selfish narcissists and objects of rejection rather than of affection. - from the essay "What's a Modern Girl to Do?" by Maureen Dowd
This essay our retreat mentor sent to us. It's about the backlash of the feminist movements in the 60s. Back then girls over-denied that they are ever weaker than guys; now they don't want to deny anymore but instead went back to the 30s' image of wanting to be "rescued", enticing and cared for. For the retro part, I thought there's a difference: previously women had been objects of gallantry. Now objects of sexual gratification. Or is it not so different? Were men of old more pretentious? Innocent? No matter. Not the focus here.
So it seems that the writer looks down on girls nowadays who want to play hard-to-get, to make themselves more sexually desirable, have their attention on becoming "Mrs", etc, while becoming ignorant of gender politics and the "seismic shifts on the Supreme Court that'll affect women's rights for a generation". She takes pride in herself being Carrie Bradshaw (SJP. Oops I mean Sarah Jessica Parker) from "Sex and the City", intellectual and independent, but still desirable and charming due to wit and intelligence. The best deal you can get midway between hardcore feminism and sex kitten. The best deal, that is, if the focus is still on the image and purpose of the female. Other than that, war is still going on. Guys are still the opponent or the prey. No rest till one party surrenders or conquers. Still a power struggle.
All this is so tiring. I wonder if things fare better if everyone just does things without thinking and without trying to be the smart one. True, there are natural differences between males and females and we don't have to go for the uni-sex extreme. True too, that obssession with own attractiveness is a manifestation of insecurity. Both are equally emotionally taxing. So how about just tell the other what you want and see if he can make the best compromise out of both of your interests? If he can't, how about reminding yourself that you are likely to be equally unable or unwilling to do that? Sounds terribly defeatistic I know. How can life be made up of compromises? But there should be a way. How about from a child's point of view? Perhaps a more reticent and dong3 shi4 child. Ask for what you want. Show genuine devotion. And trust (cautiously). I think that's what the Chinese mean by chi4 zi3 zhi1 xin1.
More importantly, I do think philosophizing on the gender issue and power struggle is less productive than reflecting or helping out on some genuine, more material plights of women (courtesy of RZ). Between American women CEOs who can't find husbands to raise families and Vietnamese women who came to Singapore to marry for financial assistance, I'd pick the later for higher index of sympathy. However, it's a matter of the difference in the availabilities of opportunities for education. Without an education we won't philosophize. Given an education and we start to dwell on the intellectually and spiritually unsatisfactory.
The reason why I showed that quote, apart from that of introducing the essay, is that it's the only sentence that has some reasonable depth of meaning. And even so the term "art" is loaded here. The rest are stringing together of quotes that sound like lines from "The Sex and the City". Full of stereotypes just as the writer is trying to fight the renewed (sexual) stereotypification of women. Witty to some extent. But it's like everybody knows it already and so? Re-stating the problems can be done with depth (otherwise there can't be so many characters of the same type created with impact in literature) but it's hard to do. Oh well, I guess then again it might well be written from an introductory perspective. There'll surely be readers who'll be educated by it.
posted by Azzurra | 3:41 PM
1 Comments:
The battle of the sexes is ever ongoing - while it is tough, I think sometimes the intrigue of it all makes life more interesting and gives rise to so many romance novels and dramas!
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