The Outsider
Retreat mentor had a nice conclusive advice for us: to be a mensch (human) no matter who we turn out to be. I wish he hadn't, by this, reminded me of how anti-mensch Singapore is. It's playing a game of survival. What does that mean?
game of survival -> need for efficiency -> culture/idolization of efficiency -> less than prevalent appreciation of non-practical matters
That's how Singaporeans are on the surface. In a high energy state and need to keep the cool, professional, hip facade. That's why when Singaporeans get affectionate and emotional about themselves, it's true drama and it gets quite embarrassing. The cultural industry of Singapore is hyper. Exaggerated authentic accent or exaggerated local accent. I wish that, if there were something more quiet, more natural, more refined about the Singaporeans, it should get expressed in a quiet, natural, refined way. There is no need to culturally follow others (Sitcoms, variety shows) in such an ostensible and non-thinking manner even if economic models had to be borrowed everywhere. Neither is there a need to get defensive, to curse, to put the role model of a heartlander Ah Beng on a pedestal, and to take pride in a broken language. It's not that I look down on broken languages. They are exotic from an outsider's point of view. The fact that I don't find it exotic anymore at least shows that I find myself partly involved. Singlish's development as a creole of British English is impressive since it has been preserved and used worldwide without a problem at the same time. But I just feel that there is a need for reflection and expression in a more precise language. A language that is neither utility or efficiency-driven (which is the original motive of the introduction of English anyway) nor embarrassingly propagandaic and therefore naively devoid of meaning.
In many cases though, I don't feel justified to judge because I'm not even coming from a scholastic outsider's point of view. I didn't study the cultural content and background of early Singapore, didn't read works of Singapore and Malaysian authors, and I don't watch enough TV. So here I'm kinda going back on myself again, as I always do. Well Singapore's a growing nation (everybody says so), so things that are more quiet, more natural and more refined about Singapore will develop, or get expressed over time (well, a long time). And meanwhile, I guess there's nothing wrong if people want to have a little fun.
And I think it's inevitable that a thinking person will need to criticise his country sooner or later in his life. The fact that I'm criticising Singapore shows that somehow it became "my country". It's very strange because I'm as un-Singaporean like as can be. Then again am I Chinese-like? (definitely not Shanghainese-like) Or American-like? I've been an outsider for too long. Was physically kept out of Singapore by family; "disowned" China for some comfort of self-righteousness because I lost touch with it (again because of family); and USA, of course I'm an outsider to it - everyone is in that country. And you can remain carefree while being one - that's the characteristic good thing about USA.
The thing about being an outsider for too long is that you have to learn to judge to protect yourself. It's only possible to remain placid and objective at the beginning. Afterwards judgement becomes warped if you still refuse to integrate (thinking about dear mum), or you move on to be the outsider of a different place. The sentimental consequence is much travelling and being always on the go. This sentiment is very nicely expressed in Chinese poetry. Autumn, boat cabins, rainy nights by the window, moonlight, chimes from a monastry. As long as you are travelling and things become quiet around you, you can trust a Chinese poet to construct something heart-breaking.
game of survival -> need for efficiency -> culture/idolization of efficiency -> less than prevalent appreciation of non-practical matters
That's how Singaporeans are on the surface. In a high energy state and need to keep the cool, professional, hip facade. That's why when Singaporeans get affectionate and emotional about themselves, it's true drama and it gets quite embarrassing. The cultural industry of Singapore is hyper. Exaggerated authentic accent or exaggerated local accent. I wish that, if there were something more quiet, more natural, more refined about the Singaporeans, it should get expressed in a quiet, natural, refined way. There is no need to culturally follow others (Sitcoms, variety shows) in such an ostensible and non-thinking manner even if economic models had to be borrowed everywhere. Neither is there a need to get defensive, to curse, to put the role model of a heartlander Ah Beng on a pedestal, and to take pride in a broken language. It's not that I look down on broken languages. They are exotic from an outsider's point of view. The fact that I don't find it exotic anymore at least shows that I find myself partly involved. Singlish's development as a creole of British English is impressive since it has been preserved and used worldwide without a problem at the same time. But I just feel that there is a need for reflection and expression in a more precise language. A language that is neither utility or efficiency-driven (which is the original motive of the introduction of English anyway) nor embarrassingly propagandaic and therefore naively devoid of meaning.
In many cases though, I don't feel justified to judge because I'm not even coming from a scholastic outsider's point of view. I didn't study the cultural content and background of early Singapore, didn't read works of Singapore and Malaysian authors, and I don't watch enough TV. So here I'm kinda going back on myself again, as I always do. Well Singapore's a growing nation (everybody says so), so things that are more quiet, more natural and more refined about Singapore will develop, or get expressed over time (well, a long time). And meanwhile, I guess there's nothing wrong if people want to have a little fun.
And I think it's inevitable that a thinking person will need to criticise his country sooner or later in his life. The fact that I'm criticising Singapore shows that somehow it became "my country". It's very strange because I'm as un-Singaporean like as can be. Then again am I Chinese-like? (definitely not Shanghainese-like) Or American-like? I've been an outsider for too long. Was physically kept out of Singapore by family; "disowned" China for some comfort of self-righteousness because I lost touch with it (again because of family); and USA, of course I'm an outsider to it - everyone is in that country. And you can remain carefree while being one - that's the characteristic good thing about USA.
The thing about being an outsider for too long is that you have to learn to judge to protect yourself. It's only possible to remain placid and objective at the beginning. Afterwards judgement becomes warped if you still refuse to integrate (thinking about dear mum), or you move on to be the outsider of a different place. The sentimental consequence is much travelling and being always on the go. This sentiment is very nicely expressed in Chinese poetry. Autumn, boat cabins, rainy nights by the window, moonlight, chimes from a monastry. As long as you are travelling and things become quiet around you, you can trust a Chinese poet to construct something heart-breaking.
posted by Azzurra | 10:00 AM
2 Comments:
You're right - Singapore is well known for its cold blooded efficiency. The need to be number one and get things done fast all the time may have somewhat strip the country of its human emotions.
Yet under the surface you will find that there's a compassionate side to Singaporeans too. For instance, many donated generously to the tsunami relief. During NKF shows too (never mind the gold tap).
And many are also patriotic and nationalistic. I think back to Malaysian Cup 94 final, Singapore vs Pahang. I was coming home from school - it was 15 minutes into the match and I just got off the bus, when I heard screams coming from my block. It felt like the whole block was shaking. When I got home, I knew why - Abbas Saad just scored for Singapore! We went on to win that match 4-0. During the Tiger Cup this year, Singapore vs Indonesia at the National Stadium, I was there. It was a similar kind of atmosphere. The sense of pride when the Singapore team lifted the Tiger Cup was indescribable. To a lesser extent, such nationalistic sentiments can also be felt during national day. But nothing beats soccer in uniting the country =)
In time to come, I'm sure you will start to see more of the softer side of Singapore, a place I have grown to love.
why u havent blogged for sooooooooooo long?!?!
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