Colleague is back from a week of training in Chelmsford, MA, USA. This morning she said "Ciao" to a guy who didn't greet back (he probably didn't see her). Then as a fake complaint, in line with post-holiday Tuesday blues (on Monday she was down with jetlag), she said "at least people in the States are nice."
Which makes me realise I miss the country terribly. There are two kinds of people who go to USA. The first being ambitious with empire-building get disillusioned by the "superficial cheeriness"; people like me, on the other hand, already condescend on the "superficial cheeriness" and hate being bossed around (the Chinese's been bossed around for far too long. While Lu Xun says the average people has a slavish nature, you can say they harbour a sort of silent, dumb hatred of the slaves for authority and control). But we turn out to get comfortable with the idea of "each gets a chance", not to fight for what we want to do, but to not get punished by what we should not do, in terms of lifestyle and social conventions. I know I know, that's a terribly loser-like view of life. But look here, my colleague couldn't resist the "niceness" of Americans as well. It's natural. Even now I'm trying to escape punishment from mum. But that's working out I guess. I hope.
The Americans are "nice" by virtue of their cheeriness, their abilities to "keep boundaries", to hide their troubles in front of people. So when they wish you a nice day, you believe they sincerely do. The reason why some call it "superficial" is that it's hard to get below the pretense of sunshine and talk of real upsetting issues. But that's fine. There are psychiatrists and it's not a taboo to visit them. Another trouble is that you'll have to be cheery like people around you. That's fine too, since sometimes it "makes the false into true" (nong4 jia3 cheng2 zhen1) and I end up having good mood by pretending to have it. The real risk comes when spending of genuine warmth and effort goes overboard in these conversations of hyper goodwill.
It's strange how you can miss a country and make fun of it at the same time. It's like being nationalistic without being patriotic. But the USA transformed from the arrogant, evil almighty king to a "head of the family" figure who takes foolish responsibilities (though not entirely unselfish) and doesn't get thanks for it.
Which makes me realise I miss the country terribly. There are two kinds of people who go to USA. The first being ambitious with empire-building get disillusioned by the "superficial cheeriness"; people like me, on the other hand, already condescend on the "superficial cheeriness" and hate being bossed around (the Chinese's been bossed around for far too long. While Lu Xun says the average people has a slavish nature, you can say they harbour a sort of silent, dumb hatred of the slaves for authority and control). But we turn out to get comfortable with the idea of "each gets a chance", not to fight for what we want to do, but to not get punished by what we should not do, in terms of lifestyle and social conventions. I know I know, that's a terribly loser-like view of life. But look here, my colleague couldn't resist the "niceness" of Americans as well. It's natural. Even now I'm trying to escape punishment from mum. But that's working out I guess. I hope.
The Americans are "nice" by virtue of their cheeriness, their abilities to "keep boundaries", to hide their troubles in front of people. So when they wish you a nice day, you believe they sincerely do. The reason why some call it "superficial" is that it's hard to get below the pretense of sunshine and talk of real upsetting issues. But that's fine. There are psychiatrists and it's not a taboo to visit them. Another trouble is that you'll have to be cheery like people around you. That's fine too, since sometimes it "makes the false into true" (nong4 jia3 cheng2 zhen1) and I end up having good mood by pretending to have it. The real risk comes when spending of genuine warmth and effort goes overboard in these conversations of hyper goodwill.
It's strange how you can miss a country and make fun of it at the same time. It's like being nationalistic without being patriotic. But the USA transformed from the arrogant, evil almighty king to a "head of the family" figure who takes foolish responsibilities (though not entirely unselfish) and doesn't get thanks for it.
posted by Azzurra | 1:43 PM
1 Comments:
One of the most important things that you can do is separate your country from it's government and all of it's other temporary features and break it down into what it is and what it will always be regardless of other things. There is a great quote by John Dos Passos that goes: "U.S.A. is the slice of a continent. U.S.A. is a group of holding companies, some aggregations of trade unions, a set of laws bound in calf, a radio network, a chain of moving picture theatres, a column of stock quotations rubbed out and written in by a Western Union boy on a blackboard, a public library full of old newspapers and dog-eared history books with protests scrawled on the margins in pencil. U.S.A. is the world's greatest river valley fringed with mountains and hills, U.S.A. is a set of bigmouthed officials with too many bank accounts. U.S.A. is a lot of men buried in their uniforms in Arlington Cemetery. U.S.A. is the letters at the end of an address when you are away from home. But mostly U.S.A. is the speech of the people"
The things that I like to think of as America are the geographical features, the difference in people depending on where you are, the hustle and bustle, the history, the literature, baseball, holiday gatherings, dreams and ideas. I could elaborate, but I don't want to take up all of your space. You comment on a lot of differences between various ethnic groups, but as a question, what is your country to you (i'm trying to inspire your next blog...)
Have a good 1.
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