A Grace Before Dinner

O thou who kindly dost provide
For every creature's want!
We bless Thee, God of Nature wide,
For all Thy goodness lent:
And if it please Thee, Heavenly Guide,
May never worse be sent;
But, whether granted, or denied,
Lord, bless us with content. Amen!

- Robert Burns

So that's what they say before dinner? A fair chunk of text I must say. It could be some condensed mini version. Still it was a sizeable interval when all of the six others along the table bowed their heads (A and L were together in an excited, smiling whisper, their heads almost touching, like a pair of little sisters in anticipation of a major event of fun the next day) while I began dumping potstickers and beef into the boiling water. It took long enough for me to come to a chopsticks-pausing-in-mid-air sort of realization, physically rendering the whole time-freeze a symbolic and dramatic significance.

The presence of Christians in the overseas Singaporean community is pretty overwhelming. 道不合不相为谋，这样我就有了完全的理由跟他们划清界线，倒也不错。

I'm not going to become religious any time soon. It has always been hard for me to be a believer. I'm way too honest and confused to believe in anything yet. I'm honest so I can't hide. I'm confused because I keep considering all facets of problems. It's my fundamental doubt of fate-controlling authority versus natural evolution, not satisfaction derived from opposition - which is risky, that's preventing me from being religious in anyway. How could I be religious when I irk at being described as a "good girl"? And no, I don't want to be a "bad girl" either - I refuse to be described.

I went ice-skating at Winter Lodge today. Biked out along California Ave to Middlefield once again. It was warm and perfect for afternoon adventures. I spent 15 bucks to have my skates sharpened and will have to go back another day to collect them. It has been a long time since I was last on ice, so it took me a while to warm up. Miraculously I didn't fall or have a collision for even once today considering the number of kids that were dashing around, turning a newly-iced rink into rocky terrain in a matter of minutes.

At the skating rink, everything goes frictionless. Human beings shout and scream and laugh shrilly and have fun. Family members are supportive and encouraging. Friends help out each other as they inch along ice hand in hand. No matter how crowded a rink gets, you manage to glide through people with swiftness. No contacts. You are perpetually metres away in seconds. You could for once suffer all the hyperactivity or pain you want without juggling for balance in emotions. For the body demands all the balance you could muster. There is no room for other thought.